My Human Phobia

So, I have a bit of a... uh... "problem". My "problem" is that I am mentally incapable of interacting with human life. If someone were to try to strike up a conversation with me they'd most likely be doing 99% of the talking. It's not that I hate people, it's because people scare me. (And I'm also pretty awkward)

If I see someone walking towards me, my first reaction is:

 But there are times when they catch up to me, or my guard is down and I don't notice them, and then bam! They say "hi" to me.

It's so awkward...

I'll tell you about one really awkward experience I had when I went to a friends house and met her family for the first time. For privacy reasons I'll call her... Prim.

~EIGHT MONTHS AGO~

It was a bright sunny day, Prim and I were walking to her house. After about fifteen minutes, we finally made it. We went straight to her room and read manga together for about ten minutes. 

All of a sudden, her older sister walked in. Prim said, "oh hey!" then pointed at me, "This is my friend Becky. Becky, this is my sister Angel." (Obviously I'm not gonna use her sister's real name)

I looked up and smiled awkwardly at Angel:

As I said earlier, interacting with people is not really my thing, but I still try to be polite and act like I'm not completely losing my mind from nervousness. It really helps my confidence with talking to people if they smile or at least not glare at me while we converse. I still wont say much but at least I'll be more comfortable with them.

Anywho, back to the story. So after I smiled I was expecting Angel to at least smile back at me or something, but no, she just looked at me like:

Then sat next to Prim and started talking to her. 

So I just sat there like:

After ten minutes passed of them talking and me awkwardly staring at them, Angel got up and left, not even bothering to look at me. I started playing with one of Prim's stuffed animals, trying in vain to distract my mind.

On the outside I looked like this:

But on the inside...

Long story short, her parents eventually came home, things only became more awkward and then after a while I went home; mentally facepalming the whole way.

~END OF MEMORY~

So yeah.

It usually takes me a while to be comfortable with people -especially people that are twelve years old and up- so... yeah. Let's just say I'm very thankful for my friends that stuck around to see what I'm really like when I'm not so socially awkward and scared to death of them.

I have plenty more of my shining moments like that to tell and they only get worse from here. But those are for later posts, so until then: